EX LIGER, again.

It's Sunday, 010312. We're in the last phase of EX LIGER. It's been tough, really tough. I do not really feel the days pass. Rather it feels as though I've been through one heck of a really long day.

Guess what I'm doing now? Yes, another two-hour shift. This is the only time we've got to sleep in the exercise (illegally) but I'm using it to write my journal.

This stand-two, however, is a special one because I'm actually awaiting actual contact. I'm actually guarding a 4COIL which has a vehicle lane open. After contacting the enemy we are supposed to close the vehicle lane and perform immediate retrogression.

Again, I'm going to just relax my mind and talk about my sensory feedback.

I'm seated down facing the extreme left of the last column of the 4COIL pickets. I have my rifle at my right and an orange notebook on my lap (which is what I'm writing on). I hear snoring from behind (probably Nelson). The sound of bird chirping fills the air as birds comb the trees around me. It's 0653 so it is bright enough for me to see the horizon of vegetation fade into the distant mist. The soil is damp from the rain but dry enough to sit on. The 0.6m picket half a meter away from me is hammered dead-center into cow dung (LOL! It was too dark for them to notice?). There is a tapioca plantation across the road. A blue pilot pen lies between the second and third picket in my column (which is, again, on the extreme left).

Teck Seng just came in a rover to pass me a signal set. Hong Wei and some other instructors were also in the rover. The rover made a 3-point turn and drove back to the expected enemy approach. My callsign is 23 Charlie. The signal set has SQUELCH turned to OFF, causing it to emit white noise ("shhh"). However, the FAULT light is also blinking, adding a beeping to the mix. Two civilian trucks just drove past with a bunch of villagers/farmers dressed up like terrorists in movies. They seem really interested in what we're doing. I'm still the only one awake.

I'll end here because they're here. It's ACTION TIME.

EX LIGER

Friday, 300312, somewhere in Thailand. The time is 0002. I'm in the midst of EX LIGER and I'm doing my stand-two shift that will end at 0200. I was just digging my shell-scrape but I'm not sure if I'm going to finish it. The ground is as hard as asphalt and my Pickaxe nearly broke.

It's a good time to relax and start describing my immediate sensory experience.

I'm deployed in the middle of the road under a scary thorny tree. I'm proning on the floor facing the main axis. My favorite orange notebook is in front of me (I'm writing on it) and my rifle is to my right. I'm dressed in SBO. A tactical light hangs on the thorny tree above to light up my notebook. The comms line hangs slightly overhead, occasionally casting a shadow on my book as it crosses the torch. To my right is Nelson and to my left through the thorny shrub is Kenneth. Nelson is fast asleep, while Kenneth is currently vomiting from the nausea caused by Doxycycline. Random sounds of ET blade hitting the ground can be heard from every direction.

The ground I'm proning on is actually made up of mostly thorny twigs, dead leaves, rocks and very fine sand. Melvin has fallen asleep so I'll be sent to HQ for stand-two soon if he doesn't wake up. I'm actually starting to fall asleep myself.

The time now is 1206. I just finished digging my shell-scrape. I can't believe it took me nearly 12 hours to complete it. The ground was too hard. I fell asleep in my shell-scrape for barely five minutes and now there's a bee sting on my left hand. Just removed the sting. Maybe I'm too tired because it didn't hurt that much. I'm going back to sleep now.

I woke up for orders and briefing. I had no serious reactions thankfully. It's probably because I've been stung before in the past. I forgot lunch but it's time to break camp.

Prepared...

PREPARED TO HAVE SOME SERIOUS FUN!



Should I buy ALOT OF BOTTLES on the way back in Duty Free?

Prescriptions

Today I saw a prescription of Lexotan (Bromazepam) on the table and I knew something was not right. People do not prescribe anxiolytics for nothing.

The last time I had an anxiolytic, Xanax (Alprazolam), prescribed to me was when I complained about having depressing feelings induced from consumption of Amoxicillin.

The relative dosage of Xanax is to Lexotan is 1:12.

I cannot imagine what kind of anxiety disorder requires such a heavy dosage. My mum just told me that she told the doctor she was stressed out recently. I don't know if I believe that man.

My mum is depressed.

How did it happen?

See, my friends just signed extras for some sentry duty problems during the deployment exercise when I was the CPS.

At this point I don't know how to react. I cannot fully rationalize the reasons for their punishment.

Should I start finding reasons to explain how it happened?

If I start trying to explain things, then I'll only end up pushing the blame around and getting more people involved.

Should I go down to the office to try and plead for their innocence and try to "tank" the extras for them?

If I offer to "tank" the extras, what kind of message am I trying to send across? Am I just trying to act like a hero?

The strange thing is that being the CPS, why am I not being punished as well? Is there a message my instructors are trying to send across?

See, people get extras in exercises due to my negligence. In operations, people might just die by my own doings.

This makes me question myself. Am I even ready to lead?

My mother

Recently my mother's been rather gloomy. She missed her period for the third week and she's suspecting herself to be undergoing menopause.

Today, she told me that she's falling into depression. Her life nowadays seem full of negativity.

I thought back and I realised that I haven't really been talking to her for the past month. Every time I booked out, I left immediately upon reaching home. Most of the time she's either already sleeping or out at work by the time I come back.

She's not the kind to worry, but recently I think I've been making her really worried. Even though she hasn't really said anything different from the past nags and advices (don't drink too much ah, come back early ah), her tone of voice last night revealed much worry and concern. It's as though she knew.

The Indians down at the workplace has been giving her much problems and I've not been making things easy for her. I'm about to leave home for more than half a month, and I don't know what I can do for her now.

This is probably the last time I'll go out shopping with her this month. She bought some random clothes (of which all are purple, which is her favorite color). I really look forward to coming back from Crescendo so that I can really be there for her. I just activated my roaming, so at least I can drop some messages on the nights I'm not out in the field to make sure she's fine.

Regulation of hormones

Slept for 3 hours again. Had a damn tiring night. In fact, had a damn tiring week! Been hanging out with new idiots influencing me in a bad way. But then again, in some other aspects I think I'm their bad influence, HAHA!

I learned a new trick. I name it... Corner and Grind.

Here's how you do it:
1) Drink a hell lot with your buddies.
2) Find a group of girls with no guys (or beat the guy up and store him somewhere safe).
3) Form a circle around them and close in.
4) GRIND!!!



See, the thing is, I find it normal to grind strangers but I find it really wrong to grind Jan. It should be the other way round, right? LOL.