Friday, 300312, somewhere in Thailand. The time is 0002. I'm in the midst of EX LIGER and I'm doing my stand-two shift that will end at 0200. I was just digging my shell-scrape but I'm not sure if I'm going to finish it. The ground is as hard as asphalt and my Pickaxe nearly broke.
It's a good time to relax and start describing my immediate sensory experience.
I'm deployed in the middle of the road under a scary thorny tree. I'm proning on the floor facing the main axis. My favorite orange notebook is in front of me (I'm writing on it) and my rifle is to my right. I'm dressed in SBO. A tactical light hangs on the thorny tree above to light up my notebook. The comms line hangs slightly overhead, occasionally casting a shadow on my book as it crosses the torch. To my right is Nelson and to my left through the thorny shrub is Kenneth. Nelson is fast asleep, while Kenneth is currently vomiting from the nausea caused by Doxycycline. Random sounds of ET blade hitting the ground can be heard from every direction.
The ground I'm proning on is actually made up of mostly thorny twigs, dead leaves, rocks and very fine sand. Melvin has fallen asleep so I'll be sent to HQ for stand-two soon if he doesn't wake up. I'm actually starting to fall asleep myself.
The time now is 1206. I just finished digging my shell-scrape. I can't believe it took me nearly 12 hours to complete it. The ground was too hard. I fell asleep in my shell-scrape for barely five minutes and now there's a bee sting on my left hand. Just removed the sting. Maybe I'm too tired because it didn't hurt that much. I'm going back to sleep now.
I woke up for orders and briefing. I had no serious reactions thankfully. It's probably because I've been stung before in the past. I forgot lunch but it's time to break camp.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Prepared...
PREPARED TO HAVE SOME SERIOUS FUN!
Should I buy ALOT OF BOTTLES on the way back in Duty Free?
Should I buy ALOT OF BOTTLES on the way back in Duty Free?
Prescriptions
Today I saw a prescription of Lexotan (Bromazepam) on the table and I knew something was not right. People do not prescribe anxiolytics for nothing.
The last time I had an anxiolytic, Xanax (Alprazolam), prescribed to me was when I complained about having depressing feelings induced from consumption of Amoxicillin.
The relative dosage of Xanax is to Lexotan is 1:12.
I cannot imagine what kind of anxiety disorder requires such a heavy dosage. My mum just told me that she told the doctor she was stressed out recently. I don't know if I believe that man.
My mum is depressed.
The last time I had an anxiolytic, Xanax (Alprazolam), prescribed to me was when I complained about having depressing feelings induced from consumption of Amoxicillin.
The relative dosage of Xanax is to Lexotan is 1:12.
I cannot imagine what kind of anxiety disorder requires such a heavy dosage. My mum just told me that she told the doctor she was stressed out recently. I don't know if I believe that man.
My mum is depressed.
Monday, March 19, 2012
How did it happen?
See, my friends just signed extras for some sentry duty problems during the deployment exercise when I was the CPS.
At this point I don't know how to react. I cannot fully rationalize the reasons for their punishment.
Should I start finding reasons to explain how it happened?
If I start trying to explain things, then I'll only end up pushing the blame around and getting more people involved.
Should I go down to the office to try and plead for their innocence and try to "tank" the extras for them?
If I offer to "tank" the extras, what kind of message am I trying to send across? Am I just trying to act like a hero?
The strange thing is that being the CPS, why am I not being punished as well? Is there a message my instructors are trying to send across?
See, people get extras in exercises due to my negligence. In operations, people might just die by my own doings.
This makes me question myself. Am I even ready to lead?
At this point I don't know how to react. I cannot fully rationalize the reasons for their punishment.
Should I start finding reasons to explain how it happened?
If I start trying to explain things, then I'll only end up pushing the blame around and getting more people involved.
Should I go down to the office to try and plead for their innocence and try to "tank" the extras for them?
If I offer to "tank" the extras, what kind of message am I trying to send across? Am I just trying to act like a hero?
The strange thing is that being the CPS, why am I not being punished as well? Is there a message my instructors are trying to send across?
See, people get extras in exercises due to my negligence. In operations, people might just die by my own doings.
This makes me question myself. Am I even ready to lead?
Sunday, March 18, 2012
My mother
Recently my mother's been rather gloomy. She missed her period for the third week and she's suspecting herself to be undergoing menopause.
Today, she told me that she's falling into depression. Her life nowadays seem full of negativity.
I thought back and I realised that I haven't really been talking to her for the past month. Every time I booked out, I left immediately upon reaching home. Most of the time she's either already sleeping or out at work by the time I come back.
She's not the kind to worry, but recently I think I've been making her really worried. Even though she hasn't really said anything different from the past nags and advices (don't drink too much ah, come back early ah), her tone of voice last night revealed much worry and concern. It's as though she knew.
The Indians down at the workplace has been giving her much problems and I've not been making things easy for her. I'm about to leave home for more than half a month, and I don't know what I can do for her now.
This is probably the last time I'll go out shopping with her this month. She bought some random clothes (of which all are purple, which is her favorite color). I really look forward to coming back from Crescendo so that I can really be there for her. I just activated my roaming, so at least I can drop some messages on the nights I'm not out in the field to make sure she's fine.
Today, she told me that she's falling into depression. Her life nowadays seem full of negativity.
I thought back and I realised that I haven't really been talking to her for the past month. Every time I booked out, I left immediately upon reaching home. Most of the time she's either already sleeping or out at work by the time I come back.
She's not the kind to worry, but recently I think I've been making her really worried. Even though she hasn't really said anything different from the past nags and advices (don't drink too much ah, come back early ah), her tone of voice last night revealed much worry and concern. It's as though she knew.
The Indians down at the workplace has been giving her much problems and I've not been making things easy for her. I'm about to leave home for more than half a month, and I don't know what I can do for her now.
This is probably the last time I'll go out shopping with her this month. She bought some random clothes (of which all are purple, which is her favorite color). I really look forward to coming back from Crescendo so that I can really be there for her. I just activated my roaming, so at least I can drop some messages on the nights I'm not out in the field to make sure she's fine.
Regulation of hormones
Slept for 3 hours again. Had a damn tiring night. In fact, had a damn tiring week! Been hanging out with new idiots influencing me in a bad way. But then again, in some other aspects I think I'm their bad influence, HAHA!
I learned a new trick. I name it... Corner and Grind.
Here's how you do it:
1) Drink a hell lot with your buddies.
2) Find a group of girls with no guys (or beat the guy up and store him somewhere safe).
3) Form a circle around them and close in.
4) GRIND!!!
See, the thing is, I find it normal to grind strangers but I find it really wrong to grind Jan. It should be the other way round, right? LOL.
I learned a new trick. I name it... Corner and Grind.
Here's how you do it:
1) Drink a hell lot with your buddies.
2) Find a group of girls with no guys (or beat the guy up and store him somewhere safe).
3) Form a circle around them and close in.
4) GRIND!!!
See, the thing is, I find it normal to grind strangers but I find it really wrong to grind Jan. It should be the other way round, right? LOL.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Route March 16Km
This is the first time we actually put on our neck guard. It's pretty cool looking but we didn't actually put the soft plate in there yet.
Went for a route march and it was the easiest 16Km I've ever done due to the nice weather (it was CAT1 the entire day) and pleasant route.
Went for a route march and it was the easiest 16Km I've ever done due to the nice weather (it was CAT1 the entire day) and pleasant route.
Exercise BLACKHOLE (deliberate misspelling, don't correct me!)
I was appointed the ex CPS for the exercise. Being THE oblivious one, I screwed up the exercise horrendously but managed to do it in such a way that it turned out to be a job well done.
During initial deployment I followed the linkup party to do the close range authentication. That was when I met Captain Joel who screwed me because I was supposed to be with the main party.
I later on guided the platoon train into the vehicle park. It was my first VCOM experience and it was quite fun.
While proning to check my shellscrape height requirements, I found myself swarmed with ants. It was then I found out that I probably killed more ants in one hour digging my shellscrape over an ant's nest than the combined amount I killed in the last 5 years.
During the exercise I made an impromptu verbal duty roster where sentries are deployed according to administrative bed order. It was fine for the first three pairs, but not so afterwards. When I found out that the third pair actually did sentry duty for six hour straight because no one took over their spots, I laughed so hard but also felt a little guilty.
During initial deployment I followed the linkup party to do the close range authentication. That was when I met Captain Joel who screwed me because I was supposed to be with the main party.
I later on guided the platoon train into the vehicle park. It was my first VCOM experience and it was quite fun.
While proning to check my shellscrape height requirements, I found myself swarmed with ants. It was then I found out that I probably killed more ants in one hour digging my shellscrape over an ant's nest than the combined amount I killed in the last 5 years.
During the exercise I made an impromptu verbal duty roster where sentries are deployed according to administrative bed order. It was fine for the first three pairs, but not so afterwards. When I found out that the third pair actually did sentry duty for six hour straight because no one took over their spots, I laughed so hard but also felt a little guilty.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Mad enough
I think I'm the only one mad enough to book in on a Sunday when the book-in timing is Monday. I really can't afford taking taxis anymore (don't laugh, I'm actually a thrifty guy when it comes to personal expenditure).
I haven't slept a wink since Saturday morning and I only slept 4 hours the day before. The lack of sleep is causing a crazy mood swing in my head. I couldn't print last week's entries because apparently Dhoby Ghaut doesn't have printing shops for documents (and I thought film shops did documents as well, like back at Jurong Point).
I must wake up at 3 tomorrow to catch up on my work. No more woozy headbanging buttgrinding. It is serious mode after this. Good night world ;)
I haven't slept a wink since Saturday morning and I only slept 4 hours the day before. The lack of sleep is causing a crazy mood swing in my head. I couldn't print last week's entries because apparently Dhoby Ghaut doesn't have printing shops for documents (and I thought film shops did documents as well, like back at Jurong Point).
I must wake up at 3 tomorrow to catch up on my work. No more woozy headbanging buttgrinding. It is serious mode after this. Good night world ;)
I removed a post
before she can read it.
I've seen too much in the laptop.
I'm going to meet her soon to return the laptop. I hope I can keep a straight face. I will smile my best. I don't want to give myself away.
Because you're just my normal, normal, very normal friend.
I've seen too much in the laptop.
I'm going to meet her soon to return the laptop. I hope I can keep a straight face. I will smile my best. I don't want to give myself away.
Because you're just my normal, normal, very normal friend.
Sunday, March 04, 2012
Live Firing?
My general thoughts about live firing? I don't know. I think it didn't go as well as I want it to. I didn't talk much. I didn't really take charge like how I would like to. I only helped in the preparations, maybe some briefings, and that's it. I would fail myself if I were the assessor.
On the morning of the live firing itself, there were no appointment holders around. I didn't know. I happily went off with the advance party while the guys fell in downstairs not knowing what to do. Great that some of them actually took charge and sent the guys for breakfast. Someone also helped facilitate the out-rationing and I have yet to find out who.
The appointment allowed me to see who I can depend on and who can I not. There are a bunch of people that get on my nerves so much that I'd rather not ask them to help. Not only do they have a cohesively bad attitude when it comes to work, sometimes they make me doubt their intelligence when I see the fruits of their work.
It's like they sow a thousand seeds but yet water only one of them with an ocean of toxic water just to grow one tree that produces blue-coloured poo-shaped apples that taste like diesel, have no nutritional value and is detrimental to the environment.
Another set of people taught me that I should really take charge and ensure. I cannot trust people too much to do force-prep for important things seeing that a single short-circuited joint can evade three different checks. That's six people on three different occasions.
On the morning of the live firing itself, there were no appointment holders around. I didn't know. I happily went off with the advance party while the guys fell in downstairs not knowing what to do. Great that some of them actually took charge and sent the guys for breakfast. Someone also helped facilitate the out-rationing and I have yet to find out who.
The appointment allowed me to see who I can depend on and who can I not. There are a bunch of people that get on my nerves so much that I'd rather not ask them to help. Not only do they have a cohesively bad attitude when it comes to work, sometimes they make me doubt their intelligence when I see the fruits of their work.
It's like they sow a thousand seeds but yet water only one of them with an ocean of toxic water just to grow one tree that produces blue-coloured poo-shaped apples that taste like diesel, have no nutritional value and is detrimental to the environment.
Another set of people taught me that I should really take charge and ensure. I cannot trust people too much to do force-prep for important things seeing that a single short-circuited joint can evade three different checks. That's six people on three different occasions.
Thursday, March 01, 2012
Full speed ahead!
Today was a great day. Handling of the stores were great and we managed to get everything accounted for.
We (I mean: I) screwed up at some parts but at least we got the chance to blow stuff up (reason #1 to go EOD). I even got to clear a misfired initiating chain connected to a door breaching charge. How cool is that?
Tomorrow we'll be having zombie apocalypse survival crash course. I mean, what else can we do with chainsaws, waterpumps and generators, right? I really can't wait!
And guess what day is tomorrow? It's FRIDAY!!! I'm coming back to visit my dearest buddy on Saturday because #1 he is a Jamaican in disguise, and #2 he's doing guard duty.
I have to get commissioning ball settled ASAP! I can't afford to have another flimsy event. We are going to ask for sponsors on the basis that we're being filmed for TV.
I want to be a wizard. I want that night to be MAGICAL!!!
We (I mean: I) screwed up at some parts but at least we got the chance to blow stuff up (reason #1 to go EOD). I even got to clear a misfired initiating chain connected to a door breaching charge. How cool is that?
Tomorrow we'll be having zombie apocalypse survival crash course. I mean, what else can we do with chainsaws, waterpumps and generators, right? I really can't wait!
And guess what day is tomorrow? It's FRIDAY!!! I'm coming back to visit my dearest buddy on Saturday because #1 he is a Jamaican in disguise, and #2 he's doing guard duty.
I have to get commissioning ball settled ASAP! I can't afford to have another flimsy event. We are going to ask for sponsors on the basis that we're being filmed for TV.
I want to be a wizard. I want that night to be MAGICAL!!!
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